TD:SP Ep. 1: First Resort
As the television screen fades in, a recognizable figure wearing nothing but sunglasses and swim trunks appears in a white poolside chair. This man is holding a drink contained in a split coconut with a bendy straw protruding from its surface. Behind him are two moderately sized cottages surrounded by lush palm trees. "Oh, hello, there!" The figure removes his sunglasses. "I'm your host, Chris McLean, but seeing as you're tuning in to this show, I think you'd know that." He flashes his iconic smirk that emanates nothing but a need for money and ratings. "After we were kindly removed from the film lot in Palau where we hosted last season, the Total Drama franchise has relocated to this wonderful resort in the South Pacific." The camera zooms out to reveal a surprisingly tropical and somewhat beautiful beach environment. A couple of seconds pass, and Chris becomes the show's main focus once more. He sips his drink on-camera. "Refreshing!" The camera pans to a scene of Chris, fully clothed, walking on a beach. "This season, we're taking sixteen teenagers and generously giving them a new home for the next forty-two days. They'll be divided into two teams of eight, competing in challenges every three days to win invincibility, which saves them from having to vote out one of their own. For the lucky victim...er, contestant, that is able to conquer the other fifteen new faces, is one million dollars!" Chris now re-appears in front of the two cottages. "Where will they be living?" He laughs and points to the two moderate-sized buildings behind him. "In these things! It's the most money we've ever spent on a Total Drama season! Thanks to last season's high ratings as well as a few minor budget cuts, we're actually able to give these people an okay place to lay their heads." A time lapse reveals that it is now nighttime. Chris is standing over a fire pit by the previously shown pool. "At the end of forty-two grueling days, one contestant will win whatever's inside this!" Chris picks up a metal briefcase. "Which, hopefully, is the aforementioned million dollars. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will even be on this show? That's coming up right now on Total! Drama! South Pacific!" After the famous (albeit shortened) Total Drama theme music played alongside shots of the contestants, Chris is shown standing on the beach once again. In the distance, two large helicopters are flying over the ocean towards Chris. "Making their way to this luxurious island resort are the sixteen contestants competing on this season of Total Drama. They are flying towards me in those helicopters along with their teammates." Close up shots of the helicopter are shown. "The helicopter on the left," a voiceover from Chris announces, "contains the eight contestants on the Ecstatic Eagles team!" One of these contestants, a tall brunette, is displayed while she receives her own voiceover. "Looking around, the other contestants around me look pretty useless. All of them just look like...idiots, really," she says. The name Aly is displayed at the bottom of the screen. A tall, tan, attractive boy suddenly becomes the camera's focus. "There's a couple of hot chicks here, but they don't really strike me as people I'd hook up with. There are, however, some bros that look like pretty chill people. I can't wait to meet them," he explains. Similar to the previous voiceover, the name Colin appears onscreen. Another male is displayed on the screen. This one is wearing bright clothes and seems to be bursting with personality; however, he is staring at the ground and mostly keeping to himself. "Most people here probably won't know who I am," he says as the name Cyrus appears, "but I do have about five hundred thousand people who watch me make videos on MyTube. I run a fabulous daily vlogging channel. Really, anyone who wants to can stalk my daily life." Cyrus laughs. "I don't think it gives me any celebrity value, but it would be kinda cool to meet one of my fans on this show." The camera zooms out from the helicopter and focuses back on Chris. "Colorful bunch, right? In the other helicopter are the eight contestants who will be known as the Popular Pandas. Take a look!" Shots from inside the Popular Pandas' helicopter are displayed. There is a focus on a short, thin yet muscular guy with brown hair. "I consider myself somewhat of an athlete, but that doesn't really give you any sort of an edge in Total Drama," he says as his name is revealed to be Mitch. "I only see one other guy who looks like he does any sort of physical activity, and I bet he thinks he's a hotshot. But the bigger they are, the harder they fall, and I think he's gonna fall really hard." The mentioned muscular guy is now shown on screen. His name, Judd, is shown. "I mean, yeah, I live in Canada now, but I lived in the southern United States for about eight years." His voice is heavy with a thick southern accent. "I just moved back to Toronto last year, I'm literally so out of touch with everything in the world. Like, wanna ride horses? Yeah, didn't think so." A tall, tan, attractive girl with light brown hair is shown looking down into the ocean. "There's so many little cute guys here who probably have never been in a relationship before!" She giggles, and her name is shown to be Parvati. "I can see this little scrawny guy who's probably never kissed a girl before. People like that gonna play in perfectly to my game plan." She twirls her hair around her index finger as the camera zooms in on Mitch, who she was referring to. Chris is now displayed as both helicopters hover over the water. As the doors to the helicopters open, a few contestants peek out. "Are you gonna jump, or...?" Chris asks expectedly. Aly stands in front of the open door. "You expect us to do this without a parachute? What are you, mental?" "I'm not mental," Chris replies, "but you do have to jump out into the ocean if you're gonna play Total Drama! Sorry!" He laughs maliciously. Out of the Popular Pandas' helicopter, a girl with strawberry blonde hair walks in front of the open door. She faces her teammates. "Well!?" She bears a strong British accent. "Are we gonna jump or what? Get going, people!" She dives into the water. Chris smiles. "Hey, British girl! What's your name?" She surfaces from her dive and spits ocean water out of her mouth. "Elizabeth, like the queen herself." Elizabeth looked up towards the helicopter. "And I'm pretty much a queen, so you all had better treat me like one." "Yeah, okay, sure, whatever, swim over here," Chris says. "Who wants to jump next?" A fairly mature yet hyper voice booms from inside the Ecstatic Eagles aircraft. "Me! Me! Me! Me!" Chris raises an eyebrow. "And who are you?" A tall, pale guy with short, jet-black hair stumbles out of the helicopter door. "Whoa! Oh my god, is someone gonna catch--" He fell in the water. "I said," Chris begins to get annoyed, "who are you? Like, name?" The recent fall victim assumes a position right next to Chris. "How did you get here so fast?" Chris asks. "Oh my god, hi! My name's Byran! I'm a super huge fan of Total Drama, I do theater, I've been watching Total Drama forever, and oh my god I can't believe I'm meeting you!" Chris begins to back away. "Can I hug you? Is that weird or awkward? I'm really sorry, can I do it anyway?" Chris shoves Byran away. "Dude! Back off! How much coffee did you drink this morning?" "Not much, actually," Byran responds. He turns to Elizabeth, who is trying to dry off after swimming. "Hi, Elizabeth!" "Why should I talk to you?" Elizabeth replies. "We're not on the same team, darling. You're fairly irrelevant to me, honestly." Chris begins to shout in an annoyed tone. "Okay, it's been like ten minutes, and two contestants have jumped. Can we just land the helicopters?" As the first official on-screen confessional begins to air, Aly is the one delivering the message. This season's confessional booth appears to be a poolside bar. "Chris making a merciful decision? Shocker." "Dude, I was so ready to jump into the water, though," Colin says in a confessional. "I swim, so like, I could totally do that. Jumping's kinda scary, but I mean, it's all cool." The scene cuts away to each team standing in front of their cottage. Chris stands in front of them. "Welcome to Total Drama: South Pacific!" Once Chris finishes his greeting, the sixteen contestants applaud and cheer. "As you know, the rules of Total Drama include competitions, vote-outs, and other fun things." "Fun?" An Asian girl asks. "Depends on what you classify as fun." Chris furrows his brow. "What would your name be, Miss Sass 2014?" "Karin," she says. "And I'm not really Miss Sass. I'm more of a--" "Yeah, okay, we'll get to you later," Chris cuts her off. "As you can see, you've been divided into two teams." Chris turns to the team on the left. He begins to speak, but quickly goes silent. "Um... Hold on a second," he says. He takes two small index cards out of his pocket. "Okay, I'm ready. Aly, Byran, Colin, Cyrus, Erik, Karin, Raechel, and Skylia. You guys are the Ecstatic Eagles!" As they cheer, a blue emblem bearing the outline of a bald eagle comes into view. Erik appears in the confessional area. "I guess you could say that I'm ecstatic to be here." He chuckles. "I hope the first challenge is an art challenge, because I would totally rock that." He points to paint markings on his shirt. "I do a lot of painting and drawing, so that's obviously gonna help my team if the opportunity comes." "Total Drama is a very stressful and high-strung game, and I can definitely help people out with that," Skylia says in a confessional. "I do a lot of yoga at home. I'm a pretty dedicated yogi, and that helps me keep a really calm mind." A girl who seems to be of African-Canadian descent appears in the confessional area. "So, on the Eagles team, I spied with my little eye...another famous vlogger!" She begins to smile. "Cyrus should know who I am, too - after all, I vlog too. We're like MyTube royalty. I can't wait to meet him. Just think of it! Catelyn and Cyrus, up there in the final two! That's never happened before." The scene cuts back to Chris, who is now facing the team on the right. "Angie, Catelyn, Elizabeth, Judd, Matthew, Mitch, Parvati, and Sean! You eight are the Popular Pandas." They cheer as well while a pink emblem featuring the outline of a panda appears. "Coming onto a show with fifteen other people who I don't know is really out of my comfort zone," Matthew says in a confessional. "I'm already in college, which is surprising for someone my age. I'm used to talking to the same one or two people all the time, since most people at my university are at least two years older than me. It kind of makes me an outcast by circumstance. On this show, everyone is probably sixteen or seventeen, so I don't really have an excuse to not converse with the majority of people. That's going to be difficult." "People love me because I have a huge personality!" Angie says in a confessional. "I'm a fierce buxom blonde who isn't afraid to be a social butterfly. I belong on the Popular Pandas - because I'm probably gonna be popular! I'm definitely ready to just have a good time and have the most fun I can." She laughs. Karin appears in the confessional area. "I'm pretty much the social center of my high school. I'm essentially the go-to person for whatever's happening on a Saturday night, and I'm always there at parties or hangouts because I'm that type of girl. That's gonna play out well for me on Total Drama because when it comes time to vote, I'm always going to know what's going down whether the top dogs like it or not." She smiles and winks at the camera. The scene of Chris standing in front of the two teams reappears. "Now, if you look behind you," Chris says, "you'll see two nice little cottages we built for you to live in. If you hadn't figured out already, that's where you're gonna live this season." "First, Chris doesn't make us jump out of the helicopter. Now, we get to live in a nice house? Something's up," Matthew says in a confessional. "Chris is never nice." Chris continues his instructions. "You'll have to cook your own food, which we graciously provide when your fridges are restocked each week. Each house has three rooms and one bathroom. Two rooms are for sleeping, and one is for general conversation. Call it a living room." Colin raises his hand. "Do guys get to sleep, like, with other girls and stuff? 'Cause, that'd be pretty cool." "Nope!" Chris says with a smile on his face. "One room is for the not-so-gentlemen, and one is for the ladies." "Dude, that's lame," Colin replies as he puts his hand down. Chris clears his throat. "Anyway, if you look behind yourselves, you'll see the white brick path to the pool." High definition shots of the pool appear on screen as Chris describes what happens by the body of water. "It is there that you guys will vote off the eventual losers. Over by the pool bar, you can give confessionals. These will help us and the audience know what you're really feeling, and they can help you by getting things off your chest. Or, if you really want some alone time." Chris snickers. The scene returns to Chris and the contestants. "So, your luggage has been...altered a bit, and I'm sure you want to find out what that means. So, you can turn around and get into those houses!" Everyone cheers as the two teams run into their respective houses. "Now, I'm a Total Drama expert," Sean says in the confessional area. "I know that I need to be the one to take notes on who's talking around the house. I'm the one to report it here in the confessional. This will help me achieve a Logit rating of Complicated Persona, which is the first stepping stone on the path to victory." The Ecstatic Eagles burst into their house and rush to claim beds. Karin grabs her luggage, conveniently placed by the door, and crashes into a closed door. She appears in the confessional area with a bandage on her nose. "Okay, so I was rushing a little bit." "So, Karin crashes into a door within seconds of entering the house," Aly says in a confessional. "First genius identified," she says as she rolls her eyes. Aly, Karin, Raechel, and Skylia enter the girls' bedroom. There are four beds in different corners of the room as well as two shelves. Raechel approaches a bed and puts her suitcase on top of it. "Hi, guys! I'm Raechel. I can't wait to get to know you all over the next few weeks!" "Weeks?" Karin asks. Skylia yawns. "Well, she assumes none of us are getting voted off. And that's optimal!" She smiles. Raechel looks confused. "Voted off? What? What are we voting for?" Aly smacks her palm against her forehead, and quickly appears in the confessional area. "I don't think Raechel knows what show she's on. I'd like to see the criteria they use to cast this show, because... she probably doesn't even know who Chris is." The male members of the Eagles, Byran, Colin, Cyrus, and Erik, approaches the guys' bedroom. A camera angle from inside reveals that it looks identical to the other bedroom. Suddenly, Byran bursts through the door and leaps onto a bed. "I can't believe - like, I literally cannot believe I'm on Total Drama!" He pulls his suitcase onto the bed. "This is insane. I'm so excited. How about you guys?" Erik raises his eyebrows. "I'd like to know how he got his sugar rush, seeing as we haven't even eaten anything yet," he says in a confessional. "Seriously, this guy is crazy! I love it. But it's gonna get pretty grating." Back in the bedroom, Colin laughs jokingly at Byran. "Dude, chill out. It's the first hour of Total Drama." "I know!" Byran exclaims excitedly. "And that's why it's so amazing!" Cyrus is looking around at his three roommates. "I'm kinda happy that no one has recognized me yet! Whenever I go into a big city, especially in the United States, people are always freaking out because they recognize me. I might be able to play like a normal person now!" He claps. "This is fab." "So, anyway," Byran says to the other guys, "my name's Byran!" He laughs. "If you couldn't tell, I'm a gargantuan fan of Total Drama. How'd you guys find out about the show?" After a short silence, Colin says, "I guess I'll go first. My name's Colin, by the way. We watched a few episodes on the way to a swim meet. And I thought it was a pretty chill show. So I applied, and...yeah, man. That's it." "Well," Erik follows, "I was actually asked by someone to draw their characters for an online Total Drama fan-fiction. I know, kind of loser-y, right? But, yeah, that's how I found out, and I've been a fan ever since." Cyrus's face lights up. "Wait, are you erik13 from that art website?" "Yeah!" Erik laughs. "That's cool, I didn't know I had fans." Cyrus laughs back. "I'm a big internet person. That's also how I found Total Drama, as you could probably deduce. I'm Cyrus." "Cool," Colin says. "Nice to meet you guys." The scene quickly shifts to Chris walking along the beach again. "Now that you've met the Ecstatic Eagles, let's take a look inside the Popular Pandas' house!" Angie, Catelyn, Elizabeth, and Parvati peacefully enter the girls' bedroom. "Wow, this is so nice!" Angie says. "Really?" Parvati giggles. "I wouldn't go that far. You haven't even gotten into the bed yet." She giggles again. Elizabeth glares at Parvati, then rolls her eyes. "Do you think the guys' bedroom is any different?" Catelyn asks. "Do you think there's, like, footballs and stuff?" "I don't know, what kind of stuff do guys put in their bedrooms?" Angie asks. Parvati laughs. "Probably a plethora of trophies and other jock-y, manly stuff." She laughs...again. "That demon's giggle is going to make me disintegrate!" Elizabeth says in a confessional. "I can't stand it! How am I going to live for three days before I can vote her off?" The scene switches to Judd, Matthew, Mitch, and Sean entering their gender-specific bedroom. "It's kinda boring that they won't let us sleep with girls," Mitch says, sitting on his new bed. Matthew quickly shifts his eyebrows up and down and gives a half-hearted smile while looking down. "I don't think it really matters. We have a third room for stuff like that. Unless they're all antisocial girls, they'll probably be spending time in the living room." "You never know, dude," Mitch says as he opens up his suitcase. His eyes widen upon opening it. "Something wrong?" Judd asks. He looks over at Mitch's bed. Mitch slams his suitcase shut. "All of my freaking stuff is gone except for one change of clothes and a bathing suit!" "What?!" Judd exclaims as he rushes to open up his suitcase. "Dude! My horse statues are gone! Not cool!" Mitch snickers. "Horse statues? What are you, some kind of horse whisperer?" Sean's face lights up, but he quickly appears in the confessional area. "Mitch's horse whisperer comment is definitely going to give his Logit rating a negative tone, meaning he has less of a chance to win if this is consistent. My odds of winning just increased, big time." "Horses are my thing," Judd replies. "I had pictures, books, everything in here..." "You probably brought some of their fur, too," Mitch says sarcastically. Judd glares at him. "Do you mean a sample of the hair from their manes? Because, I mean, that's too darn pretty to just cut off." Mitch appears in the confessional area, and begins his confessional by imitating a southern accent. "Judd southern's accent is really getting on my nerves, man!" He rolls his eyes. "His horse obsession is frightening. If he doesn't stop talking like an idiotic cowboy, I'm going to break him." He pauses. "Okay, maybe not physical violence, but I'm capable of some really crafty stuff. Just you wait, Judd." "Yep," Sean says in another confessional. "Mitch will definitely be edited as a minor antagonist. And, Judd's been giving me a lot of first boot vibes. He's really strange and off-putting. Those kinds of people always go first." Matthew is shown in the confessional area. "So, let's see who I have on my team so far!" He smiles ironically. "I have the really, really annoying horse-obsessed cowboy. I have the guy who looks like he might be a jock, but I do know is that he can't seem to turn off the 'pretentious attitude' switch. Oh, and the weird guy who's just sat in the corner observing us. Fantastic!" After Matthew's confessional, the Ecstatic Eagles are shown gathering in their living room. There are two blue couches facing each other and a round wooden table between them. "So, does anyone else do yoga?" Skylia asks. Raechel smiles. "Yes! I take a class every Saturday. It really helps me maintain my physique. I love it!" "Oh, that's great!" Byran says while beaming. "We're gonna need that in challenges." Aly laughs. "You know the first challenge is probably gonna be, like, whoever dies first wins for their team." Raechel looks concerned. "Die?!" She exclaims. "Can they do that? Is that allowed?" Aly looks at Raechel, dumbfounded. "Do you actually think--" "Nope," Cyrus interrupts, "but honestly? I wouldn't put it past Chris. He's sneaky as--" "Chris?!" Raechel exclaims again, cutting Cyrus off. "Is he playing again? Oh my gosh, he was actually my favorite from Total Drama Islands!" Cyrus is shown in the confessional area. "You know? At first, I was a bit judgmental of Aly because she was throwing a lot of shade at Raechel. But now that I've found out that she lacks any brainpower? I'm starting to take Aly's side." "Dude, Chris is the host of this show," Colin explains to Raechel. "He, like, talked to us outside, and stuff." Raechel's jaw drops. "That was him?! I met my idol and I didn't even recognize him?" "He looks the same every season," Aly says. "His closet probably has hundreds of the same blue shirt." "It's iconic," Cyrus follows up. Raechel is silent. The scene changes, now showing the Popular Pandas gathering in their living room. "I still can't believe it, man," Judd says, "they took all our luggage and stuff, man!" Parvati laughs. "It's fine for me! I brought all my makeup in the front pocket. Chris didn't check that one." "I didn't carry anything important," Matthew says. "Wait, Parvati," Angie says, ignoring Matthew, "you still have makeup?" Catelyn takes out her makeup bag. "I do too, girl!" "Oh my god, thank you so much, bae!" Angie says as she looks into Catelyn's makeup bag. Mitch says in a confessional, "I can't believe she just said bae. I didn't even know that was a serious thing." Sean is shown in the confessional area. "Catelyn coming to Angie's rescue? That's gonna give her a few positivity points. She has to go early, or she could be a huge contender for the winner's edit!" "Do you have mascara?" Angie asks as she rummages through the small pouch. "Oh, no, sorry, I don't do eye products," Catelyn replies. "I've been afraid of them ever since I poked my eye trying to apply eyeliner once." "Oh my god, that's terrible!" Angie says compassionately. "I'm so sorry." Mitch snickers. "Must be the worst thing ever." Catelyn turns to him. "Have you ever applied eyeliner? It takes a lot of work." "How is makeup any form of work at all?" Mitch asks. "Have you ever applied eyeliner?" Catelyn asks. Mitch blinks. "No, but..." "There." Catelyn turns to Parvati. "Parv, you have any eyeliner for him to try on? He needs a bit of truth tea spilled." "What the heck is truth tea?" Matthew asks. Judd scratches his head. "Is it some kind of a minty flavor?" Parvati looks at them and laughs. "It's an expression! You should know it!" There is a pause as Judd blinks. "So what flavor is it?" Elizabeth appears in the confessional area looking annoyed. "I swear to God. My entire team is full of bloody imbeciles! You have the vapid, overrated, demonic idiot girls who I despise already. They can't go for a second without asking how their hair looks, or how they should put their makeup on. The guys aren't as bad because they never talk...but when they do, nothing worth my time comes out of their mouths. I almost want to be voted out first!" Angie appears in the confessional area. "Right now, I just have to play it cool and come off as completely harmless and definitely not a threat. It may not matter to the other girls, but I can tell that at least two of the guys, Matthew and Sean, are going to be big game players. Sean's extremely observant and Matthew always talks like he knows what he's talking about. I have to look like a dumb blonde for now. They can't know what I'm really thinking!" She giggles. "I don't know what that Angie girl is thinking," Matthew says in a confessional, "because she's acting dumb as a boulder and I can see right through it! The problem is, I don't know how to talk to her. But, I don't know if I want to." He shrugs his shoulders. Catelyn, Angie, and Parvati are shown exchanging cosmetic products on the couch. "You have turquoise eye shadow?" Catelyn says to Parvati. "You seriously have everything!" "I know! It's a talent of mine, not gonna lie," Parvati responds. They both laugh. Soon after, Parvati appears in the confessional area. "I'm getting along great with the other girls. I think that was gonna be a given, seeing as I'm pretty much a Popular Panda in my daily life. And the guys should be easy, too. I'm not ugly, so they shouldn't have an issue talking to me." She laughs. "I still can't stand her laugh," Elizabeth says in a quick confessional. Aly, Cyrus, and Skylia are shown together in one of the Ecstatic Eagles' bedrooms. "So," Cyrus says, "what do you think of our team?" "I don't know," Skylia says. "A lot of them seem really...intense. Especially Byran." "Yeah, you were the one who does yoga, right?" Cyrus asks. Skylia nods. "Sounds like Byran could use some of that," Aly says. "If his mouth produces one more run-on sentence, I'm gonna do some bad things. What about that clueless broad, Raechel?" "Obviously, her first time hearing about Total Drama was when she looked at the application," Cyrus says. "You'd think the producers would force them to watch a season, but obviously they didn't even take the time to do that." Aly rolls her eyes. "She probably didn't even send in an application. In the realm of reality television these days, recruits are the new fans." "Speaking of recruits," Cyrus begins, "I'm, like, ninety percent sure that Colin was only recruited for his body." "Not gonna lie, he's probably the hottest guy on this show," Aly says. Skylia's face lights up. "I love Colin!" Aly and Cyrus look at her. "Well, not love, but I love the first impression I got from him. He's so laid-back." "Let me guess," Aly says, "just like you?" She gasps sarcastically. Skylia playfully shoves her. "Oh, stop it! I'm not even looking for a relationship." Aly laughs. "Hey, no one said you were until now." Cyrus intervenes. "All right, break it up, huns." "Did you just call us 'huns'? I've never heard a guy say that," Aly replies. "Oh, shut up!" Cyrus laughs. "It's a stupid thing, I'm trying to work it out of my vocabulary. What do you think of Erik?" "From what I know, all he's good for is painting. He's about as much of a dud as Raechel in my eyes," Aly explains. Skylia tilts her head to the side. "He seems like a cool guy! Artists are always really cool. My brother paints, and I pretty much like him better than either of my parents." She turns to Cyrus. "What about you?" "Well, he might be a huge fan of Total Drama," Cyrus says. "When we were first moving in, he told us that he draws art for online Total Drama fans." "What kind of online Total Drama fans even are there?" Aly asks. "Well, it's not like they're all complete hermits," Cyrus starts. "Then what would they be?" Aly counters. "They sound like the types of people who live in a cave with Wi-Fi." "As I was saying," Cyrus continues, "they're not all hermits. I used to do a lot of TD fan stuff online. Clearly I don't live in a cave." Cyrus laughs. Skylia laughs. "Did you just call Total Drama 'TD'?" Aly snickers. "You got me there," she says to Cyrus, "but seriously, 'TD'?" "Shut up!" Cyrus laughs. Judd, Parvati, and Sean are now talking together in one of the Popular Pandas' bedrooms. "I still can't believe that darn Chris got all our stuff," Judd complains. "I mean, that's not right, y'know?" Parvati laughs. "I'm fine, because I love these clothes anyway, and he didn't get into my makeup bag. So, that's all taken care of." "I'm not fine, y'know?" Judd replies. "I had, like, four of my horse statues in there, and a bunch of pictures and stuff!" "What are you?" Parvati giggles. "Some kind of horse whisperer?" Judd looks infuriated. "Why does everybody keep saying that? Y'know, it's like havin' a cat or a dog or something," he says. "You're gonna miss 'em when you're gone, y'know?" "I don't bring cat statues!" Parvati laughs. "I just bring out the claws." She pretends to purr. Sean looks disturbed. "You bring your cat's claws with you?!" He shudders. "That's mental! Isn't that animal cruelty?" Parvati laughs...again. "It's a metaphor, silly!" Judd appears in the confessional area. "I mean, I thought it was a pretty cool idea, but I guess Sean didn't, and neither did Parv, y'know?" Back in the bedroom, Parvati turns her attention to Judd. "Didn't you say you swam?" Judd blushes. "Not much. I prefer horseback riding, y'know?" Parvati rolls her eyes playfully. "I could have guessed that one." Sean appears in the confessional area. "I hate talking to Judd and Parvati. All Judd does is talk about his stupid horses, and all Parvati does is laugh and flirt. It's annoying as heck! They're obviously pre-merge boots, their edits are gonna be terrible. I hate them already." "I wonder if the other team has realized their stuff is gone, y'know?" Judd asks. "I bet none of 'em are as heartbroken as I am." "Are you really heartbroken? Like, it's just horse status." Parvati giggles. "And pictures!" Judd snaps. "Anyway, it looks like there's a bunch of muscular dudes on the other team, y'know? What are they gonna miss?" Parvati thinks for a second. "That really hyper guy is gonna miss caffeine dosage." She laughs. "I think seeing Chris will rejuvenate him every morning, though. The kid was freaking out when he saw Chris!" "Did someone just say my name?" A familiar figure enters the room. The figure is revealed to be none other than Chris McLean. "Hey, Chris! What's up?" Parvati asks. "Your first challenge! That's what's up!" Chris exclaims. "Get your swimsuits on and report to the beach in ten minutes!" The scene now shows both teams, in their swimwear, together on the beach. Chris is facing the two teams. "So, how'd the first couple of hours go?" "Terrible!" Judd shouts. Chris laughs sadistically. "I assume the Popular Pandas have noticed the first of many budget cuts this season?" Angie looks at Chris angrily. "All of my makeup is gone. That was, like, two hundred dollars worth of mascara!" "Maybe you can win the money and buy some more!" Chris replies. "Any other complaints?" "Yeah," Erik says. "What are they talking about?" "We're talking about how our suitcases got emptied," Mitch answers. "Didn't you look?" "All of my stuff was there," Skylia says. "Even my yoga mats!" "You're kidding me, right, Chris?" Mitch looks at Chris, astonished. Chris snickers. "Luggage for both teams just wasn't in the money this season! Be glad you're sleeping on a real bed." "Yeah, whatever." Mitch folds his arms and rolls his eyes. Chris clears his throat. He announces, "Welcome to your first ever Total Drama challenge!" Everyone cheers. Byran is jumping up and down energetically. "What's it gonna be?! What's it gonna be?!" "For your first challenge," Chris explains, "we thought that we'd do something a bit...safer than what we normally do." "Oh, great!" Aly says sarcastically. "Now I only have a ninety-eight percent chance of dying today." Chris glares at her. "Shut up." He turns to the ocean. "Anyway, if you look over to your left, our unpaid interns are attempting to move two certain boats over here to shore." The scene shows all sixteen contestants gasping at the sight of the boats, which have not been on screen yet. "I guess that's where the budget cut came from..." Judd says. "Are we gonna be safer than those interns?" Mitch asks. Raechel puts her hand over her mouth. "One of them is gonna pass out!" "Oh, bloody heck! Get them over here!" Elizabeth complains. As the episode fades out, Chris snickers. "This is gonna be a wild ride." To Be Continued...